Mind Over Heart

Possibilities are endless... A million or so ideas keep on popping up. Should I entertain these thoughts? Should I shrug these off?

Vulnerability... Being appreciative of about almost everything... You're in ecstasy one minute and become crestfallen after... You get green with envy though you try hard not to... Mixed signals... Misinterpreted perceptions...

If you're in a higgledy-piggledy state as I am, then, welcome to the club!

It's quite a challenge to resist if you are in solitude, and been longing to be with someone. However, if you just jump in the river without testing it as they say, then, you will never really know if it's too hot or too cold for your own liking. We may even drown ourselves too deep that we can no longer get out of it...

We sometimes go for what we want without thinking of its pros and cons first that this may make us knackered and washed-out in the end. We have to learn how to control our emotions in order for us to win the battles we fight. We can't always choose to use our hearts. We have to learn how to control our emotions.. We can always pretend to be strong outside beneath our weak personalities. Pretension serves as your shield from pain, from hurtful feeling... Do not let your emotions take over. No matter how mixed up your emotions are, learn how to use your brain over your heart.

posted from Bloggeroid

The Art of Letting Go

I know I'm definitely not an expert in letting go and moving on. It is precisely a difficult knot a person can go through. This is exactly the same phase I successfully surpassed and might encounter once again should I opt to be in the same state. It's indeed a long process. The road to moving on may seem endless for most.. A long winding road... You have to pass road blocks, traffic zone, and even earth-shaking landslides to reach your destination. But, as they say, you'll see light at the end of every tunnel. There might be real life problems along the way, however, it will be worth it. Attitude in life is all you need.

Love plays a major role in our lives. Love may be just a four-letter word but it has the power to hurt us. Just like me, I love unconditionally. I do not set boundaries when I love someone... I fall apart if I get hurt by someone I love dearly... I break into pieces if my relationship with someone doesn't work. I feel as if it's the end of the world and no one would ever love me the way I was loved before..

Why do we keep on holding on? Why do we stay in a relationship when we know ourselves that it is no longer getting anywhere? Why do we play the martyr's role and be stomped and looked down at? Why do we continually hope that it is still going to work when we can already visualize a gloomy and chaotic future in it? A future with a heavy heart plus ceaseless crying? A melancholic future with high chances of being blue for a long time?

How do you let go of this pain? How do you heal your heart if it has been deeply scarred?

It's hard. It's scary. Being in this kind of situation is formidable that we try or even force not to be in this ball game. So what do we do? Nothing... We do not do anything about it... We do not let go. We hold on in spite of the hurt. We hang on, wistfully hoping of making it work the second time around.. And if by any chance it doesn't work again, we try for the nth time and won't still let go...

Why? Is it because we want to go back to how it "was"?

We're too stucked to how things were... How we felt secured and belonged to... It is more of the so-called familiarity of being with someone and the wanting to save the disastrous relationship because of it's length, and because of not wanting to waste our overbearing effort for surpassing all the challenges we have gone through together. We do not try different paths all because of our comfort zones. We are such scaredy-cats from going out of our usual routes, fearing that other ways are unpaved. We want smooth and seamless roads...

The big question is, how will we know if it's worthwhile or not by not even trying? We are always given opportunities... whether to correct our mistakes or try to change the direction of our lives. Yet, how come do we refuse to let go?

What exactly do we need to do to let go?

Acceptance. This is the start. This is where everything will fall into place. You have to accept that things change. You simply need to accept the truth... that it is over.. and nothing can be done. You can't live in the past. The reality is what you are in now and what you have become in the present. And this is in preparation for a better future. Embrace the pain but do not nurture it. It is definitely fine to be hurt because that clearly indicates that you're a breathing human being.
Be thankful of the memories - whether good or bad. I bet not all were arguments that might have led to heartache . There were happy times, too. Do not dwell too much on the downside of the relationship. Be thankful of the laughter, experiences that you had together, as well as the not-so-great ones. After all, learning and growing were achieved from these experiences.

Make yourself busy. Try to be busy as you can that you will not have time to think of how you were left alone. You can engage yourself into any of your favorite sports. If you are as an athletic as a post like myself, then try something else: baking, write a book or two, put up a blog site, go to different places, or hang out with your buddies, those who are specially good spirited friends, those who are optimistic so they can spread the positive outlook on you.

Mind over heart. This is now when you need to have the power to control your life. No matter how you think of it, you are the own author of your life. No one is left responsible for your life but yourself. If you make a mess out of your life because of being heartbroken, your friends will guide you, but then again, it is still you who has the final say on how you want your life to become. Never blame anyone or anything for what happened in your life because you have full control on how you want your story to end. If you really want to get rid of the pain, if you want to let go, then it's only a matter of mindset.

Help yourself. Love yourself more. Focus on changing your future by not dwelling in the past.

Let go, without turning your back, and move forward. :)

posted from Bloggeroid

In Solitude

Sometimes I can't help but wonder why there are people meant to be together when they don't appear as if they are. I see couples holding hands like nothing can make them fall apart, and looking seemingly through each other's eyes, not caring about everything and everyone around them. The question is, until when will this euphoric feeling last? Are they really destined to be together ever after? Sounds bitter? Yes, I am.

I have friends, people look up to me for having such a strong personality. However, most of the time, it's just a pretense. I am a con-artist. I have already mastered the art of pretending to be happy that I can get a diploma should there be any finishing school that specializes in this category. I may be the happy-go-lucky type for those who know me, but beneath that ecstatic me lies a weak and hopeless romantic being. I feel alone. I feel like nobody can ever reciprocate the love and care I give to anyone. I feel that I'm in a battle alone, without any shield to keep me going. I feel as if no one can ever fathom being in solitary state that I'm in now. And despite the attention I've been getting from the opposite sex, I can sense that it's only going to be just a temporary bliss, an ad interim feeling that will end before I know it. And when it ends, without any doubt, I would go back to being empty-handed.

I feel most alone when I don't have anyone I can turn to when I'm down, when I'm excited to share with someone how my day is. I feel most alone when I come up with realization that what I thought would be mine can never really be mine. I feel most alone when I get envious of someone's unspoken love for someone else, wishing that love is thrown at me instead. I feel most alone when I expect that something good and romantic will blossom out of a beautiful camaraderie, yet remains to be just friends...

Sucks to be me, right?

posted from Bloggeroid

How to Enjoy Your Summer

34°C as today's temperature is just way too hot! Talk about heat stroke! I am just inside my room, yet I can feel the heat go through my veins. It seems that my room, which is normally cool, now has turned into a sauna room, or even worse, a huge oven! The air coming from my fan is like fire coming out from a dragon's mouth. If only I can put ice cubes, ice cubes that will stay ice cubes forever if possible, on my bed or inside my shirt to keep me cool and last this afternoon feeling fresh.

I wish summer is over. I can't help but complain. That's how we are. If it's freezing cold, we'd wish that climate is a bit warmer. If it's raining, we'd wish it's still summer. Blame it to our lack of contentment.

To make the best out of this uber hot time of the year, here's a list of what you can do.

1. Go to the beach - This is the best time of the year that you can get a good tan and wear your skimpiest swimsuits. There are so many beaches in the Philippines that you can go to, without having to stretch your budget. If you can splurge, book a flight going to Boracay, Bohol, Palawan, Cebu, Davao, Siargao, or Batanes. Those are only few of the most sought after places with great beaches in the country. If beaches are way out of your league, then try to go to swimming pools nearby. Every village now has clubhouse pool. Swimming helps boost immune system. Lounge by the pool with friends. Take pictures and have fun!

2. Hit the Mall - Most of the shopping malls in the Philippines are airconditioned. So, instead of turning your AC on 24/7 at home and pay a huge electricity bill, why not take advantage of the mall's airconditioning system and hang out until dinner time? You don't necessarily need to binge on expensive food and drinks, nor go shopping 'til you drop. You can buy a regular sized frap or cold drink (to make you feel kinda colder) and stay in a coffee shop, bring your mobile phone, tablet, or lap top, and take advantage of free wireless connection. You can also stay on one of the benches inside the malls, bring your favorite book, read until you feel you can head back home, ideally after sunset.

3. Plan a trip to famous summer places - There are places you can go to which are not as hot as it gets in the urban areas. Plan a trip with your love ones, or friends to Baguio, Sagada, or Tagaytay. These places are known to have cold temperature all-year long. You don't need to spend much. There are do-it-yourself cheaper ways that you can do in planning trips to these famous places.

4. Make Halo Halo/Iced beverages or desserts - If you're a certified homebuddy, or you're not in the mood to go out, then this is perfect for you! You can make any iced beverages or desserts in the comforts of your home. There are tons of recipes you can find on the net. You can make iced coffee, bake ice cream cakes, or just make a typical Filipino Halohalo.


Just a tip to avoid dehydration and heat stroke: Please drink more than 10 glasses of water everyday. :)

posted from Bloggeroid

Be Better and Not Bitter

I've been hearing a lot of sad stories about being left alone and being taken advantage of. I know a lot of depressed individuals who long to have someone in their lives for keeps, or the so-called living happily ever after. The truth is, we can't have fairytale-like endings all the time. Something is always bound to happen. Story needs to come to its end. Someone has to eventually leave because of indifferences, the famous "third party", or even death. It's a matter of how you deal with the situation. It is how you turn the table around.

I am also a product of a cataclysmic relationship. Just like in the movies, I played the martyr's role for God knows how long. I have tried to save the matrimony countless times for my own liking and for the sake of my son. I forgave innumerably hoping that it's going to be better. But I guessed wrong. I was treated like shit. I was left for someone else after being in that shoddy relationship for quite a long time. I knew all along that it's inevitably going to happen but I still gambled anyway.

And just like any typical human being who was left alone, I also cried to death. I stooped and begged. I did everything to get the person back, ofcourse, to no avail. Depression stage was the worse I've been to. After a month of two of being too emotional about it, I started to get back on track. As they say, if you can't help yourself, then who will?

With the help of my supportive parents, my son, my real friends who are always there, and new found friends I met along the way, who are also part of my journey, I began to think of life differently. I constantly reminded myself that nothing good will happen if I continue to go on with life feeling inferior and wishing that it can go back the way it was.

I started going out, I worked out, I busied myself at work and I did things that I never dare do before. I closed a chapter of my life and began working on a new one. Now, as I look back, I realized how pathetic I was, how funny my reactions were. I do not regret what has been done and said. My past molded me to who I am now.

I believe that happiness is a choice. If you continue to pursue happiness in the arms of someone who doesn't want you to be in theirs anymore, then you will end up being hurt more. You can find happiness everywhere, whether career-wise, in friendship, and even in being given a chance to rediscover what life has to offer. Try to think of your life in a different perspective. If you fail at one point, it is not the end of the world. Be optimistic. Be free. Live life one step at a time. Let go of your emotional baggage. There is not one person on earth who is problem-free. It is how you deal with it that makes you who you are.

If you keep dwelling on what-must-have-beens, then you will not get over that phase at all. You will be stuck in that situation forever. If you continue to hope that your partner will change for the better, then you are only waiting for nothing. It's about time you think of yourself. Shape up, be better, and not bitter. :)

posted from Bloggeroid

Love Thyself :)

Like what the tattoo on my arm says: Do not forget to love yourself. This serves as my mantra, my constant reminder because I love too much that I have the tendency to care more for the people around me, most especially the ones who are very dear to me before myself. I display such overflowing affection that in the end I get hurt for doing so. I love unconditionally. I love without any "buts". I can easily learn to accept someone's flaws. Cheating is not in my dictionary if I have grown to love a person deeply. For others, I can be the best partner. But why is it that I am always left miserable? I can't help but think how life is unfair sometimes.
Do you love as much as I do? If so, better start thinking of yourself now before it's too late. Do not EVER be somebody's rebound, past time, nor friend with benefits. Do not chase the person you love for that will just make things worse. Pretend to look strong beneath your weak persona. Do not ever make people feel that you are inferior. You have to always be on top of yourself. I know it's easy for me to say but it's a long process, but I can guarantee you, loving yourself first is what made me survive and what made me who I am now.

posted from Bloggeroid