What is it with waking up early or staying late at night that leaves me ponder on the "what might have beens" and "what ifs"? I guess that is anything but normal for someone who is continuously trying to find happiness and contentment.
I can proudly say that I have been through a lot of struggles. There may be countless times that I wish to be in deep slumber that all my problems are gone the moment I open my eyes but I know that I don't have any choice but to face the hard reality.
I believe credit goes to my tolerance to pain which I feel is not as low as the others. I am lucky to have a tough exterior, too, despite my weak interior. I think a lot, just like everyone else. I also feel hopeless at times, hence, wishing to just sometimes evaporate or be in comatose until such a time that life becomes how I want it to be.
Love, friends, trust, and money are what I constantly ruminate on. These four (especially the first and the latter) are too obscure and broad for my tiny brain to handle sometimes. Love, for one thing, is very profound. With regard loving someone romantically, I get mix signals and I become attached to people so easily that I fail in the end. As far as friendship is concerned, on the other hand, I get to a point that I don't know anymore who the real ones are. Trust, meanwhile, is what I give without an inch of doubt but more often than not backfires on me. Then, money, is what I always aim to have to enjoy life and henceforth forget about the first three main points of why I think a lot. But then again, who said that life is fair?
I may not have all the pleasures in life... I may be trying to withstand all the obstacles and may even fall most of the time... I may have a not so strong personality and not too much to offer, but I know that there's a reason for everything that I will continue on trying to uncover.
A new morning, a new life, a new beginning. :)
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