Goodbye MMIX

MMIX. 2019. What a year it has been. 

Contrary to what others think (not because it's the same tattoo as that of someone), I had the year 2019 in Roman numerals inked on my shoulder blade first month of 2019 to serve as my reminder that the year needed to be a year of change.

I then wanted to make the year as remarkable as it can be. I then wanted 2019 to be different from the previous years wherein I kept on committing the same mistakes over and over. I then aspired to have the year the best in terms of career, finances and love. 

2019 didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be, nevertheless, it turned out to be even better. As I look back on the chapter of the book so-called MMIX, I realized that it was one heck of a roller coaster ride that I felt it was dragging to the point that I was wistfully hoping for the ride to end sooner. Yet, God beautifully crafted my 2019 in such as manner that it initially had crumpled sheets but were replaced with iron-like sheets to sealing it with a huge mark.

MMIX, you left a lot of realizations, wonderful and not so wonderful experiences: From several life changing decisions, heartaches, frustration, to meeting new faces, travelling with friends and even travelling in solitude, not being dependent on someone to complete me, running errands on my own, a lift on my career and venturing to a small business.

MMIX, you definitely made a huge mark. You scarred me literally and figuratively, to make me who I am now.

Now that I start to unfold the new pages of the new chapter of my book of life, I may still have high hopes of a better year, but this time, I will just enjoy the ride and trust that God does the rest according to His will. 

MMXX, I may not add you as a body art just like MMIX, but I am certain that you will end up equally as amazing as that of MMIX, or you may even exceed my expectations, ergo, bring it on, 2020! 🥂 

Being Selfless to be Selfish

Sounds contradicting, right? 

You may be asking how in the world can you be selfless and selfish at the same time. Undeniably my exact sentiments then, until it hits me. I am not that selfless. I am also selfish. Selfishly selfless. 

I always regard myself as selfless for thinking of others first before myself: family, career, friends, and people I care about. I'd rather see others happy, I'd rather see others succeed that it jeopardizes my own happiness at times. I sacrifice by putting myself aside for the sake of others. Or so I thought. 

Just a few weeks back, a friend made me realize that I am not that selfless after all as I have my own selfish reasons for "giving my all" which is something I never really thought of in the past. 

Selfishness connotes every negative adjective known to mankind: narcissistic, egocentric, egoistic, self-centered, solipsistic, navel-gazing, self-seeking, and list goes on. But as I ponder, being selfish goes hand in hand with being selfless. Both have their altas and deltas. No matter how ironic it may sound that one can be selfless yet be selfish at the same time, it definitely is possible. Just like what they say about the magnets: opposite attracts. 

You can only truly say that you are selfless on the following grounds:

1. You are not expecting anything in return: We subconsciously are expecting that what we do gets reciprocated. This may be in different aspects like in helping the needy, we want to be recognized; In being understanding, patient and forgiving to our love ones: we want to be appreciated and be loved in return. 

2. You are genuinely happy by making others happy: There should not be, even the tiniest feeling of regret, or a bitter taste of pain when others succeed and become happy because of you. 

3. You have reached utmost contentment in life. With that, you give whatever spare you have, may it be financially, emotionally, success, or anything that is extra because you are are already overflowing with what you are sharing with others. 

Being selfish is not always negative. Same as being selfless. In this world we live in, one can only do so much. My take on this? Being selfish is the gateway to selflessness, because with being such, you learn to take care of your own personal needs first in order to use that as a collateral at a later time so that you can truly help others. 

I will always return to the concept of a life bucket wherein you need to fill it with happiness. How can one do it right? Simple! You just need to spend all of your time to fill up that bucket. Once it's totally full, you can then start filling others' buckets. I'd like to believe that most people don’t have their buckets full, hence, they’re always in the process of trying to fill their buckets as well as everyone else’s and they always fall short because of such.

We can’t give unless we have something to give. Unless we have something extra to give. We need to mix out passion to give with being practical. Therefore, we need to be selfish in order to be selfless. 😉

Page 366 of 2016

I can still clearly recall how busy I was during this time of the year last year. I can also remember how I stopped in the middle of the busy night just to use my creative juices into action, that is, to make a new blog. And here I am again, amidst my very "productive" day, trying to think of how my 2016 has been.

Like the previous years, it has been one heck of a roller coaster ride. As expected, this year turned out to be a year full of surprises. I faced lots of challenges, in all aspects: career, family, friends, money, and love. I met people who changed my perception in life. I came across different situations that made me who I am now. This year has been a mixture of sorrow, happiness, disappointments, excitement, realization and hope. That hope that once I close this last page of the chapter of my life, the new chapter will be way better that what it has been.

Seven more minutes before the start of 2017. I hear the noise signaling that this year is really about to end. As I close the last page of this chapter, I want to thank everyone who has been part of this meaningful year.

May we all have a fruitful and blessed 2017!🎉🎉🎉

posted from Bloggeroid