I have been contemplating since this morning whether or not to go out. Pictures of flowers, chocolates, engagement rings, and happy couples are all over different social networking sites. Yes. It's Valentine's Day. A special day that you get to celebrate with your special someone. Hence, the reason that I didn't want to go out in the first place. I guess the masochist in me won. I decided to leave the four corners of my room and face reality. Reality that I'm still alone, without knowing what the future has in store for me.
True enough, as I enter one of the malls in the metro, I see all those ecstatic faces with their love ones, women with flowers or heart-shaped baloons on one hand, and holding the hands of their partners on the other. Restaurants seem to be jam-packed with couples too! There are even some who have themed shirts or color coded outfits while snuggling with each other. Precisely what I need today, right? Yes. This is what I want and what I need. I want to feel the pain, if there's any. I feel the need to test the level of my emotions. As I always tell my friend, "Pain demands to be felt". True, that may be an excerpt from one of the flicks that I watch over and over until now, but this is where I can only prove how strong I am as an individual.
Pathetic and lonely may I sound, I decided to treat myself with my favorite Frappuccino and sat ALONE while I continue to watch people around me. And it hit me once again. I am alone. This is what I want. This is what I want to feel.
I recall reading an article not too long ago on the differences between being lonely from being alone. I believe I can say with conviction that I am not lonely. I am just plain alone. Being alone is not always synonymous to being lonely. Loneliness is a state of mind. You can be alone and still remain happy. I feel empty at times, owing to the fact that I don't have someone special in my life, yet, I also know that it won't do me any good should I continue to feel that way. It's a matter of perception. Thanks to the endless struggle between my functioning mind over my sometimes weak heart that I have already mastered the art of being happy in spite of being alone.
Loneliness, on the other hand, is your choice. You may have been through a lot of heartaches and may have wishfully thought of being special and loved by someone, but it's still up to you. It lies on how you will live your lives. It's up to you if you will hold on to the pain. It depends on you if you will continue to hope, or if you will move on. It's up to you if you will do something to make loneliness turn to contentment. It depends on you.
I faced my fears. I know I am alone and I don't know for how long. One thing I know for sure is that I am not lonely. 😊
True enough, as I enter one of the malls in the metro, I see all those ecstatic faces with their love ones, women with flowers or heart-shaped baloons on one hand, and holding the hands of their partners on the other. Restaurants seem to be jam-packed with couples too! There are even some who have themed shirts or color coded outfits while snuggling with each other. Precisely what I need today, right? Yes. This is what I want and what I need. I want to feel the pain, if there's any. I feel the need to test the level of my emotions. As I always tell my friend, "Pain demands to be felt". True, that may be an excerpt from one of the flicks that I watch over and over until now, but this is where I can only prove how strong I am as an individual.
Pathetic and lonely may I sound, I decided to treat myself with my favorite Frappuccino and sat ALONE while I continue to watch people around me. And it hit me once again. I am alone. This is what I want. This is what I want to feel.
I recall reading an article not too long ago on the differences between being lonely from being alone. I believe I can say with conviction that I am not lonely. I am just plain alone. Being alone is not always synonymous to being lonely. Loneliness is a state of mind. You can be alone and still remain happy. I feel empty at times, owing to the fact that I don't have someone special in my life, yet, I also know that it won't do me any good should I continue to feel that way. It's a matter of perception. Thanks to the endless struggle between my functioning mind over my sometimes weak heart that I have already mastered the art of being happy in spite of being alone.
Loneliness, on the other hand, is your choice. You may have been through a lot of heartaches and may have wishfully thought of being special and loved by someone, but it's still up to you. It lies on how you will live your lives. It's up to you if you will hold on to the pain. It depends on you if you will continue to hope, or if you will move on. It's up to you if you will do something to make loneliness turn to contentment. It depends on you.
I faced my fears. I know I am alone and I don't know for how long. One thing I know for sure is that I am not lonely. 😊
posted from Bloggeroid
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