I have friends, people look up to me for having such a strong personality. However, most of the time, it's just a pretense. I am a con-artist. I have already mastered the art of pretending to be happy that I can get a diploma should there be any finishing school that specializes in this category. I may be the happy-go-lucky type for those who know me, but beneath that ecstatic me lies a weak and hopeless romantic being. I feel alone. I feel like nobody can ever reciprocate the love and care I give to anyone. I feel that I'm in a battle alone, without any shield to keep me going. I feel as if no one can ever fathom being in solitary state that I'm in now. And despite the attention I've been getting from the opposite sex, I can sense that it's only going to be just a temporary bliss, an ad interim feeling that will end before I know it. And when it ends, without any doubt, I would go back to being empty-handed.
I feel most alone when I don't have anyone I can turn to when I'm down, when I'm excited to share with someone how my day is. I feel most alone when I come up with realization that what I thought would be mine can never really be mine. I feel most alone when I get envious of someone's unspoken love for someone else, wishing that love is thrown at me instead. I feel most alone when I expect that something good and romantic will blossom out of a beautiful camaraderie, yet remains to be just friends...
Sucks to be me, right?
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