Saturday, October 25, 2008

DO WE STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE?




When I was a kid, I still remember how I would answer those slum books of my friends whenever I was being asked what love means. On churches, pastors would talk about how God loves us that He gave His only Son. In school, teachers would explain the different types of love. Parents would tell you not to fall in love. Friends would give you tips on how to make your partner feel loved. Books will give you insights on when you should be or should NOT be falling in love….

LOVE…what does it really means nowadays? Has it become just a 4-letter word in the English dictionary that’s being used everywhere? Even on guessing games? Hell, yeah… I would say that LOVE has been the most clich├ęd term used by practically every breathing human being in all parts of the world. It loss its real definition… It’s not as magical as it used to be like those exemplary fairy tales with a happy-ever-after ending… It has become so meaningless that we just use it just for the sake of using it…We use it as sarcasm (“Yeah, right, I love you”)…We say it to make your partner feel somewhat better (“I really love you but I need to break up with you)…We say it so we can have something or someone in return (“I love you so much…Now, how about buying me that diamond ring we saw at the jewelry shop last night”, “I love you but I love your best friend more”, “I love you from the bottom of my heart, so can we have sex tonight?”)…We say it to make up with our shortcomings (“I know I cheated on you but I LOVE YOU”)…We say it when we don’t have anything to say (“(long silence) I love you baby”)…

We have grown the real essence of this profound word that we say it 24/7 anywhere we are. I’m sure you’ll hear it in any form every time and you’ll have nightmares if you didn’t hear or say LOVE or I LOVE YOU before going to sleep. Your brain is malfunctioning if you contest what I’m trying to get at. I’m not genius; it just makes me wonder why we are no longer after the same connotation on fairy tales. I’m not talking about deep shit here. I’m talking about the REAL, UNCONDTIONAL LOVE that we’re willing to risk our lives for our love-ones…that we see ourselves with the person the we love until hair are all gray, jaws are dropping, wrinkles are everywhere , hunch backs and all that.

Correct me if I’m wrong: We often misunderstood love with attraction. Women will say “I’m begging to like him” when she just met the guy and went out thrice…”Oh, we love the same movies…I’m beginning to fall for you.”…That’s crap! Men will say “I want to marry you and be with you for the rest of my life” but even before tying the knots you’ll find out such a pig he is for cheating on you half a dozen times. I am not saying that everyone has the habit of confusing love with attraction. I’m just saying that majority of us, even me, commits the same crime.

We also associate LOVE with LUST. You’d tell your best pal that you are falling for your boyfriend whom you dated for what, a month?? And what’s the main reason?? Because he’s good in bed and he makes you feel really special? I know that it is a normal emotion that exists in the real world particularly for couples who spends a lot of time with each other. But it’s not lust that will make your bond stronger; it will be the amount of time that you are together talking and finding out if you will click or what not. LUST is more of physical rather than emotional.

So when did we stop believing in LOVE? When did we outgrow the feeling of loving someone like the way Cinderella’s prince charming (sorry, I dunno his name…if you know it, you’re a full blooded love struck) did when Cinderella forgot her shoes (clumsy of her) and little Mr. Prince Charming there tried to look everywhere just to find who owns the shoe. When did we do away with just saying I LOVE YOU when you really meant it, not just to get her in the bed then forget all about her the next day? When did we start dismissing the idea of being like our grand parents that are still together till their last breath?

I know that there are really people who have not-so-good relationships that left them all alone and hurt, which led them to believe that LOVE isn’t that true after all. Once in our lives, we see everything perfectly, everything is the right place, and then all of a sudden, your boyfriend breaks up with you to be with another hot chick, KABOOM!!! You don’t want the idea of being INLOVE again even if you will live all by yourself in the future. And what you do is to mope the whole day, listen to music that will eat your heart out, eat humungous amount of food, then once you’re fully recovered, you’ll start doing what your EX did to make even. Your heart will be as hard as a stone, you will promise yourself NOT to be in love again…

What will be the end result??NONE. We’ll just go from one relationship to another and see what happens next. Unlike before that even by just mentioning his name with give you shiver, that you can talk about him forever with that sparkle in your eyes…You can describe him with all the positive adjectives from the Miriam dictionary and you feel that it’s not enough…That you can create an essay, even a novel of what you do together and how you’ve met…

Nowadays, you just stay with your partner for a long period of time just to say you have someone, but the spark is gone...the passion is gone…the willingness to do everything for the person you ultimately love is no longer there…You will no longer go to the extremities even if you look like an idiot for the person you’re with…willingness to accept him is out of the question now…Where did it all go??? How can we take it back??

ALL WE NEED IS LOVE. RIGHT??

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